Conflicted

My thoughts are confused
I lose myself in the turmoil of my innermost being
Conflicted
I strive on, but the confusion rampages upon me, fear grips me, I feel like fleeing
So often i have to block out pain
Seldom have I remembered I do not have to fight alone
I try to tough it out
Harming myself, My true self, Slowly my heart becomes stone

Conflicted
My Mind wants what it wants, but my Soul rejects it
With Me… Torn in the middle
Helpless
Helpless… as the two sides tear me apart, bit by bit

I am Angry
But at who? And for what? And from when?
The Voices.. Scream at Me..Beyond Me.
I try to scream back, but my sound is drowned..
I Try and Try.. Again and Again

A prisoner in Myself
I live each day, Inconspicuous
No one can see my inner turmoil
No one can feel my inner pain
I act like my own hero.. Saving the world from Me, MyMind, My Soul… Us

I am out there, and I’m fine
I smile, i laugh, i joke

Then, While alone, it slowly creeps over
The Loneliness, The Pain, on the inside I Burn, yet I try to hold in the smoke

Conflicted
Among myself, its seems no one can win
Because, we all being one, if it hurts me, i know it hurts Them
My Mind,my Soul.. They suffer also
So i must find a way to calm Myself within

August 10, 2010